Sunday, March 07, 2004


Hey - I'm in Sedona at the film festival right now, sitting in their un-air conditioned library (hippies...), but before I get into the fest I want to fill you in on my second visit to the AFM.

I showed up last Saturday morning and things were already slowing down considerably. I was hearing people say that it was a slow year in general, and also that the number of films with A-list stars was pressuring buyers to spend more money on fewer films, a trend that apparently has been increasing at the market in recent years.

And then there's horror. At one point a woman marched into our office and declared urgently, "I need horror films with a lot of T & A!"

Later, I walked the entire market, floor to floor, checking out each room. I wandered into an office that specialized in the sort of production our visitor was seeking. One of their girls cornered me at the entrance, somewhat protectively, as I was casually eyeing a poster for a movie called "Vicious Blondes".

"Can I help you?" She smiled like a saleswoman in the men's fashion department talking to a vagrant wandering around mumbling to his penis. Which was weird - it's not like I look threatening and for all she knew I'm a buyer. Once again, it occurred to me to start speaking in fractured English.

Instead, I gave the response that wards off all salespersons: "Just looking."

She stood fast, asking me a few banal questions until she summed up that I'm not a buyer, and therefore a pointless man. I glanced up at one of the posters on the wall.

"How's 'Blood Shack' selling?" The poster featured a fellow with smeared black face makeup exiting a barn through an opening he fashioned with a chainsaw, and blood oozing out behind him.

"Really well, actually, because people think that's Alice Cooper."

I got back to our office somewhat disheartened, just as many warned me would happen, just as all filmmakers claim to be in the face of the meat market. I love the AFM, I find it fascinating, because it's all about the commerce of film, but I also hate the AFM because it's all about the commerce of film.

We did make a lot of contacts, and started negotiations with some buyers that seem promising. But the only definitive news so far is: Thailand.

That's right, Old Siam, "Buttleman" is coming!

พัดลมไทยเลอเลิศของฉันหลาย. เวลามา. ทันทีคุณจะสามารถพิจารณาฉบับที่ถูกก๊อปปี้แย่มากๆของมัน\ที่ท้องถิ่นของคุณ 'Buttleman' หลายทางหรือเก็บมันที่วีดิโอฮอลลีวู้ดกรุงเทพมหานคร. พอดีเมื่อฉันสนุกกับวิธีทำอาหารของคุณเป็นเวลานานหลายปีที่ครัวไทย Grandma's ตอนนี้คุณจะขึ้นรถแท็กซี่รสชาติของฉัน. Soup's ที่ต่อไป!*


My many wonderful Thai fans.

The time has come. Soon you will be able to view a poorly dubbed version of "Buttleman" at your local multiplex, or pick it up at the Bangkok Hollywood Video. Just as I have enjoyed your cuisine for many years, at Grandma's Thai Kitchen, now you will get a taste of me. Soup's on!

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